Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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