Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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The Aristocrats

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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arse

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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A Jew returns change.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops