Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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