Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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