A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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