your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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