How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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