Knock Knock.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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