A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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