Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops