two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops