Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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