69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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black people swimming

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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What's just not right? Left

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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