What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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