roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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