what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -32

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops