What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...