What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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