Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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