A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

thumb_up thumb_down -32

An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops