What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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