A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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