A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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