A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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