Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops