what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

Dick Cheney That's the joke

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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