What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Potassium? K.

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Dick Cheney That's the joke

What's white and gluey Glue

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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