Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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