My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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i dont fisish anythi

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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u know whats a crime? rape

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops