Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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