If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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69

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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FUCK YOU

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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