a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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