Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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