An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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jews

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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