What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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