How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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