What's 1+1? 69.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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this website is a bad joke

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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