If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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