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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

25

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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