What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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