Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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womens rights

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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