Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My cat just died.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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