roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

Why are they the "living" daylights?

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

i wonder who made this website? a human

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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