Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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hi charles lattuca III

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops