How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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