Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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