Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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