Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Women.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Womans baksetball...

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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