How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

69.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

Tall asians

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

A Chinese man fails a math test

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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