Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops