why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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a black man pays his child support

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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