why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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