Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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