A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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