One, two, three, four and five

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Jesus Christ

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...