How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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